Notes from an Accidental Scholar

" title="Notes from an Accidental Scholar"> Notes from an Accidental Scholar

The Little Hater

Published on June 5, 2012

This is a oldie, but oh-so-relevant goodie. Jay Smooth — one of my favorite video blog­gers and founder of WBAI’s Under­ground Rail­road, the longest run­ning hip hop show in New York — breaks down the Lit­tle Hater.

The Lit­tle Hater is the voice of doubt in your head and there’s some­thing about his pars­ing the logic of the Lit­tle Hater that weak­ens it for me and gives me an out from the hater spiral.

Since I moved to Cal­i­for­nia, I haven’t blogged at all and my work on my dis­ser­ta­tion has fallen off a bit. Need­less to say, my Lit­tle Hater was in over­drive. Here it is in a nutshell:

  • It tells me that my ideas aren’t worth anything.
  • That all praise received in the past was a prod­uct of trick­ing said prais­ers into think­ing I was more tal­ented than I am. (Never mind that pulling off that kind of trick­ery would make me a witch in pos­ses­sion of mag­i­cal pow­ers that should enable me to fin­ish my dis­ser­ta­tion. #AccioDis­ser­ta­tion!)
  • And lastly, My Lit­tle Hater is a revi­sion­ist mofo. It goes back to sparks of insight and tells me “that was a dumb idea, what were you think­ing?” I lit­er­ally have to write notes to myself that say, “This is still a good idea, stick with it” just to shut my Lit­tle Hater up.

So I’m tak­ing a stand with my Lit­tle Hater and say­ing, “Not today.” How about you? What’s your lit­tle hater like?

Note: If you like this video, Jay Smooth started post­ing Ill Doc­trine again with reg­u­lar­ity for AnimalNewYork.com.

See Also: The Bal­lad of the Lit­tle Hater

Filed under: Note to Self
Tags: , , ,

1 Comment

  1. […] this moment, put aside those inner crit­ics. Let me even put aside the notion that I might beat that lit­tle hater. And let me return to that phrase which has stayed with me for two years and more: the bur­den of […]

Leave a Reply